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Joke of the Day
"It's not all about the money. It's all about all shit I can buy with the money."
Next Joke
"With as much as Adobe nags me to update, I feel like I should have its surname and be making it sandwiches all the time."
"I don't do cocaine... I just like the smell."
"What do you get when you convince a gorilla to have sex with a pig? Fired from the zoo, apparently."
"""I'm pregnant"" Are you kidding ""Technically yes"""
"- Dad, can I borrow 10 pounds? - 15 pounds? Why do you need 20 pounds?"
"Said it before but someone needs to start a rumor that Muslims don't eat donuts so that people will start sending those to the mosque."
"The networks need to change the phrase ""Breaking News"" to ""Now What?"""
"Why do Nazis hate Canadian summers? They're mostly Julys."
"I'm incredibly flattered that my therapist thinks I should be in anger management. I've never even held an entry-level position."