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Joke of the Day
"I didn't think Miss Hilton could consume all those painkillers at once, but wow! Paracetomol!"
Next Joke
"Nurse: Taking you back into surgery. Something was sewn inside you. Me: What? Can I talk to the surgeon? [from my stomach] I'm right here"
"I saw a construction sign today that said, ""road rehab"". It must've been addicted to crack."
"I bought a new sex doll... it's so realistic she doesn't wanna have sex with me."
"These food blogs start simple. 'How to cook rice. Boil. Serve' But over time... 'How to creme brulee baba ganoush with caramel'."
"What do you call someone whose GPA is greater than the number of inches their dick is? Asian"
"Math is sad. It takes hours to try to prove your point, but only one counterexample to destroy everything. Much like my marriage."
"Comcast Cable acquiring Time Warner Cable is a lot like your proctologist acquiring a bigger finger."
"Q: How many politicians does it take to change a lightbulb ? A: Two. One to change it and another one to change it back again."
"When people fall with their iPhone 6 in pocket and hear a crack sound: ""Please let it be my leg, Lord."""