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Joke of the Day

"A vampire walks into a bar... and orders a cup of hot water. The bartender asks ""I thought you guys only drink blood?"" The vampire pulls out a used tampon and says, ""I'm making tea."""

"A Linux Joke In computing, what's the only way to generate a truly random string? Put a Windows user in front of VI and tell him to quit."

"What do you call a fake Sony phone? Phony"

"On this pesticide spray it says, ""Keep away from children."" Fuck, they knew I was coming."

"Imagine if trees gave off Wi-Fi signals, we would be planting so many trees and we'd probably save the planet too. Too bad they only produce the oxygen we breath."

"2 Indian junkies accidentally snorted curry powder instead of cocaine, both in hospital...one's in a korma.."

"Did you hear the one about the lazy redditor?"

"According to chemists, alcohol IS a solution..."

"Two guys are talking in a bar... About their wives. The first man proudly tells the other '""My wife's an angel!"" to which the other man replies, ""You're lucky, mine's still alive."""

"Why can you trust a musician? Because he always gives sound advice. Ba dum tsss."