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Joke of the Day

"""Honey"" said Mrs. Beldon to her husband ""Lester's teacher says he ought to have an encyclopedia."" ""Encyclopedia my eye!"" exclaimed Beldon. ""Let him walk to school like I did."""

"It's not the most ethical move in the world, but in a pinch you can hand off a cursed object to basically any baby."

"I had a dream where I was in a fight with Jason Bourne, Will Hunting, and Private Ryan. I'm finally battling my Damons."

"I fell face-first in fresh concrete the other day... I wasn't worried though - my mom always said I'd make a good impression."

"""They dared me to"" is always a valid excuse."

"Did anyone see the transit of Venus? If so, was it a white one?"

"Some day when scientists discover the center of the universe, many people are going to be disappointed to find out it isn't them."

"You would think gay rights wouldn't be a problem.... With all the fags on the internet"

"What did Gandhi fight for? Nothing, he was against violence."

"Each comment thread is a joke, but each user may only post one word. You may only comment one word, or reply with one word to another comment. Good luck!"