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Joke of the Day

"Newsreader: Police are asking anyone with any information- Me: [shouting at TV] You lose 90% of your heat from your head"

"When people ask me about my hobbies, I tell them I'm into birdwatching, photography and meeting new people. It sounds better than stalking."

"A psychic midget just escaped from prison The news report said there was a small medium at large."

"Why the word redundancy when lawyers say cease and desist? Billable vowels."

"The difference between my ""Maine lobster"" and my ""main lobster"" is boiling water or a high five."

"What's the difference between a woman coming out of church and a woman taking a bath? The woman coming out of church as hope in her soul!"

"Did you know you can raise your energy levels by holding sodium in one hand and a AA in the other? Worst thing that will happen is you'll be charged with, A salt and battery."

"The original ""Ben Hur"" was a mega hit movie ....with ( 11 ) Oscars. The remake is a box office flop. A clear case of ""Ben Hur, Done That"""

"Why do you never touch the red dot on an Indian person's forehead? They will self destruct"

"Say what you will about pedophiles At least they drive slowly past schools"