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Joke of the Day

"You can tell your life sucks when you run into traffic and the cars go around you."

"I'm giving up spray deodorants for the new year Roll on 2017"

"A blonde gets a tattoo... On her inner thigh of a conch shell. Her friend asks ""Why a conch shell, and why there of all places?"" ""So that when you put your ear against it, you can smell the ocean."""

"Two strangers are introduced ""you have such a lovely name"" ""thanks, I got it for my birthday"""

"My friend just got a pool table for Christmas so he gave me a call inviting me around for a pool tournament with the boys. I said thanks for the invite but I prefer to pool by myself."

"Why dracula drinks the blood of virgins The same reason we put ""virgin"" into olive oil"

"Judge threw out a lawsuit against Starbucks said the Plaintiff had no grounds."

"Q: What's worse than finding a horse's head on your pillow? A: Realising the horse is alive and well and how much did I drink last night?!"

"Why do women pay more attention to their appearance than to improving their minds? Because most men are stupid but few are blind."

"I was going to make some fat jokes... But i don't think they fit the situation."