122006

Joke of the Day

"One thing books from 100 years ago teach us is that if you leave a baby in the jungle, it'll be fine. Better than fine, actually."

"They say that every time you have sex it's the same amount of exercise as running 5 miles But I think that's bullshit because I've never run 5 miles in 30 seconds."

"Making the arrangements for my wife's funeral is tough. She keeps asking what I'm doing"

"*fingers myself with giant foam Sharknado 2 finger"

"My grandpa always said, it's good to meet a girl in the park... But it's better to park your meat in a girl."

"Men are like soap operas. They're fun to watch but don't believe everything you hear."

"What is the difference between a cat and a comma? Cats have claws at the end of their paws, and a comma is a pause at the end of a clause."

"I bought a beehive to start my beekeeping company I thought it was a good bees nest"

"Don't you hate when you are reading a sentence and it doesn't end how you testicles?"

"The Devil's Business What did the Devil say to the being that sold its soul to him? -""Nice doing business with you!"""