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Joke of the Day
"I hate it when people ask me what I'll be doing in three years... I don't have 2020 vision!"
Next Joke
"You know what's a weird Irish name? Patty O'furniture."
"How many Freudians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two. One to screw in the bulb and the other to hold the penis..*ER..LADDER! I MEANT LADDER!*"
"I've always been a dog person, but I have never had a close friend that was a cat person. I just find that cats taste too gamy."
"This season of Game of Thrones set new records for Piracy Probably because it's written by George Arrrrr Arrrrr Martin"
"On a scale from 1 - overweight black woman, how confident are you?"
"What's the biggest lie of the election? Voting machines aren't hackable."
"Both her name and her living situation suggests that the dwarves MAY have been referring to Snow White when they sang, 'high ho.'"
"A nurse takes a rectal thermometer out of her pocket... She sees it and says, ""Oh dammit, some asshole took my pen."""
"Went on a date once. He ordered for me, ""She'll have a small side salad."" I said, ""Yes, and a side of sirloin and a loaded baked potato."""