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Joke of the Day

"The fattest Knight at the round table was Sir Cumference. He had too much pi"

"What happened after 14-Year-Old Richie inherited his father's footwear empire? He came into a lot of socks."

"5: daddy can I tell you a secret? Me: sure thing buddy 5: *grabs my face and whispers* I just pooped and I didn't wash my hands"

"The streaker was thinking about retiring... but he decided to stick it out another year."

"The police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. The police charged one and let the other one off."

"If I had a dollar for every time someone called me lazy. I would...."

"GOLDFISH: i swear i'll have your money by tomorrow GOLDFISH MOBSTER: what money? GOLDFISH: who are you? GOLDFISH MOBSTER: where's my mon"

"Smoke marijuana... Smoke marijuana, Take over the government, This is a high coup."

"How can you tell if your buddy is gay? His dick tastes like shit."

"They said ""orange is the new black""... ...but I didn't realise they meant Trump would replace Obama."