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Joke of the Day

"A little bit of racism Scientists have found that your fingerprints may indicate that you are black or white. For example, if your fingerprints were found at the crime scene, you're probably black."

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"Me:""If you ever give me another gift with 'some assembly required', you're dead to us."" 6:*writing thank you card* But, um.. Me: Write it!"
"When thirsty you should always drink apple juice.. Because OJ will kill you."
"What do the Police and Pokemon have in common? They gotta catch 'Jamal"
"Now that Gay Marriage is legal in all states I can finally get married as a solid, liquid, or gas."
"Name the only building in the world with 80,000 stories The library (My 6yo told me to tweet this)"
"(nsfw)A family walks into a hotel and the father goes to the front desk and says, ""I hope the porn is disabled."" The guy at the desk replies, ""It's just regular porn you sick fuck."""
"It's like trying run the BostonMarathon with Siamese Twins... They're both pulling in different directions"
"If they could bottle how good it feels to take off your bra, that would sell for more than any expensive wine."
"How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? TEN-tickles TEN-tickles! I find it funny how most people say eight."