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Joke of the Day

"[spelling bee] Your word is ""pneumonia"". ""Can you use it in a sentence?"" Of course, you can use any word in a sentence. No more hints."

"Have you seen the special message written at the bottom of a condom when you roll it all the way out? Me neither.."

"A couple of tampons are sitting on the bathroom counter A pair of condoms walk in and one says to the other: ""I think we have an in here"" the other replies: ""nah mate, they're both stuck up cunts"""

"[my son threatens to run away after I take away his iPad] ""Here $60. It's all I have. Call if you need more."""

"My girlfriend broke up with me because I wouldn't stop quoting Linkin Park. But in the end, it doesn't even matter."

"Why does not a forth-grader ever take the bus home? Because he knew his parents will make him return it."

"I just want to have the poker face of a toddler that tells you that they didn't poop their pants."

"What's the difference between John Wayne and Jack Daniels? Jack Daniels still killing Indians."

"Why doesn't Santa Claus have any kids? Because he only comes once a year, and when he does, it's down a chimney."

"On Reddit, nothing is more suspenseful for me than... [Deleted]"