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Joke of the Day
"Where do epileptic midgets go for pizza? Little Caeser's"
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"Not all wood floats Natalie wood, for example."
"Sex is a lot like pizza. How? Let me tell you about the worst pizza I ever had: It was fantastic."
"The State of Illinois has just unveiled its new welcome sign... Welcome to Illinois; not ALL of our elected officials have been indicted!"
"Definition of Divorce: The future tense of marriage."
"Cruz picked Fiorina as his running mate. She probably gives better head than Kasich."
"Me trying to impress a girl Girl: I'm Into horror movies Me: My dad's a serial killer"
"The highest form of flattery... ...is a plateau"
"It doesn't matter how hard you think you are. When a toddler hands you their ringing toy cell phone, you'll still answer it."
"I had a bukkake party last night. You should have come"