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Joke of the Day

"After having sex in a sea... All i can say is that it went swimmingly... I'll^take^my^leave^now..."

"i am developing a ground brekaing new app called ""MOneyWallet"", where you earn ""Money Points"" by mailing cash to my house"

"Why is ship tapered Why is shit tapered? So you're asshole doesn't slam shut. (I was watching my dog take a dump yesterday and this old joke came to mind)"

"Why are crosses not in fashion? They're too God-y"

"What goes up a chimney down, but won't go down a chimney up? An umbrella!"

"Why don't birds ever wear underwear? Because their pecker is on their head."

"How do you fuck a fat chick? Roll her over in flour and find the wet spot"

"Michelle Obama walks into a bar where the bartender is Vladimir Putin... complete the joke..."

"Did you hear about the kidnapping down the street? His mother wouldn't wake him until 3."

"Went to a nude beach today and let me tell you- I had a lot of women's attention. I could just feel them dressing me with their eyes."