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Joke of the Day

"There are bats hanging of a branch upside down all except one. Two bats comment: ""What's happened to this one? - I don't know two minutes ago he seemed normal and then he fainted."

"My fridge should be called Kraft... cos it's full of sliced singles, individually wrapped in plastic."

"""Siri, why am I single?"" Siri: opens front face camera"

"Q: What do you call a drunken Muslim? A: Mohammered."

"Father: How do you like going to school? Son: The going bit is fine as is the coming home bit too but I'm not too keen on the time in-between!"

"Two quantum mechanics professors had sex They must have had physical chemistry."

"I tried tap dancing once... ... I kept falling in the sink."

"Why don't you make jokes about muslims? Because they will fucking kill you."

"What is a toad's favorite kind of beer? One with a lot of hops."

"When she moans ""deeper"", but... you've run out of government secrets."