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Joke of the Day
"Why don't shrimp give anything to charity? Because they're shellfish."
Next Joke
"Policeman: Do you know how fast you were going? Motorist: No you're the one with the radar."
"Guy comes home and says to his wife, ""Pack your bags! I just won the lottery!"" She jumps for joy and asks, ""Where are we going?!?"" He says, ""I'm not going anywhere. You're outta here!"""
"People need to stop acting like animals have the same emotions as humans... ...they hate it when we do that."
"If Twitter was invented by a woman, The character limit would be 10,000 characters."
"Starfish would be great politicians. They do shit out of their mouths after all."
"When I was a kid I wanted to become a pirate, and sail the open seas. But instead, I just ended up downloading a lot of movies."
"Sweet Wife: Do you love me.... Sweet Wife: Do you love me just because my father left a lot of money for me? Naughty Husband: Not-at-all honey. I would love you no matter who left money for you."
"Doctor Doctor, my period wont end! I am so sorry... I think that you have caught feminism"
"My favorite exercise after a heavy meal is regret."