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Joke of the Day

"Women... can't live with them and the alternative is literally a pain in the ass."

"How I like my women.. If their old enough to pee, their alright for me. or If their over 8, dont take the bait."

"So a Trabi owner pulls up to a gas station... ...and says to the attendant: ""Two windscreen wipers for my Trabi please."" The attendant replies: ""That sounds like a good deal!"""

"What did the doctor say to the terminally ill deaf patient? ""Now, this may be difficult to hear..."""

"I keep seeing studies finding fecal matter on things. Anyone considered that perhaps it's the scientists that aren't washing their hands?"

"Why don't hypochondriacs... Why don't hypochondriacs use lighters? They're afraid of catching fire!"

"I wish I could press a finger to this loud, profane, obnoxious boy's forehead and instantly transmit to him the sadness of being an adult."

"What's the difference between having a boner and being cyberbullied? One is getting erect, and the other is getting e-wrecked."

"Why can't Ray Charles see his friends? ....because he's married."

"Why don't blind people skydive? Because it scares the crap out of their dogs."