119431

Joke of the Day

"Kylo: I need an N to finish my favorite Vader quote. Han: This is SpaghettiOs, not Alphabet Soup. Kylo: Great. Now Vader says, ""OOOOOOOO!"""

"Did you hear the new penalty for speeding in Illinois? The first offense they give you Bears tickets and the second offense they make you use them."

"Always answer a math question in a silly voice because if you're wrong they'll think you're joking and if you're right they'll feel dumb."

"Orc try to get at you? Hobbit like it's hot. Sauron get an attitude? Hobbit like it's hot. *click clack click clack click*"

"I used to go out with a girl who had a wooden leg. Everything went smoothly, then I broke it off."

"*sees burglar *throws flashlight at him *misses *throws another *misses *throws another *misses *throws another Burglar: WTF Me: COSTCO"

"Q: Why does the letter A look like a flower? A: Because Bs like flowers."

"To find out your cat name, pick any name at random and refuse to answer to it."

"What do dwarves and hipsters have in common? (just made this joke up, help me if I can word it better) They're underground, and it's hard to tell males from females. or something like that =)"

"Adam and Eve had an ideal marriage. He didn't have to hear about all the men she could have married and she didn't have to hear about the way his mother cooked."