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Joke of the Day

"My gang hand signals look a lot like the finger in the hole motion, followed by the call me gesture."

"What's the difference between Dubai and Abu Dhabi? People in Dubai don't like the Flintstones but people in Abu Dhabi doooooo."

"*At funeral* ""Your Mom is so fat"" I said eulogy, not roast. ""oh right, I'm sorry. Your mom WAS so fat..."""

"VW have got in2 trouble 4 falsifying data, apparently this is not d first time the Germans have been found guilty of lying abt gas emissions"

"How do we create jobs? I thought he was already dead"

"A women's work that is never done is the stuff that she asked her husband to do."

"What do the mafia and 69 have in common? A slip of the tongue and you're in for some shit."

"A man walks into a bar, and orders 10 times the amount of drinks as everyone else. The barman says ""now *that's* an order of magnitude!"""

"Apparently the US government has to choose between supporting ISIS and the al-Assad regime... I think that's called getting caught between Iraq and a hard place."

"What's black on top and white on the bottom? RAPE."