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Joke of the Day

"How many gnats does it take to screw in a lightbulb? It only takes two, but the trick is getting them in the lightbulb."

"Why do Americans weight lift in tank tops? Because they like to exercise their right to bare arms."

"Minnie Mouse comes home to Mickey and tells him she wants to get a divorce Mickey: ""What? Think of what this will do to the ratings! Are you fucking crazy!?"" Minnie: ""No dear, I'm fucking Goofy"""

"NyQuil before beer, nothing to fear. Beer before Nyquil, never been a 30-foot panda on the French Riviera selling kites to angry trees."

"What did the chopped wood say to the tree? Run!"

"How do Muslim women get wrinkles off their faces? Fabric softener."

"What do you call a peaceful Bruce Lee? Gent Lee (Gently)"

"Optimism The eternal belief that you're always one-third of the way to a threesome."

"all the haters throwimg tomatos at me while im on stage dont seem to understand that im always lookimg for extra tomatos to make soup with"

"What do you call an insect with magical powers? A spelling bee."