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Joke of the Day

"What do Driving Testers and Vegetarians have in common? They are both very pedantic"

"Sorry, I just got your text. Do you still need a ride to the ER?"

"Why did Jesus lose his Halo? Nobody wanted to play on his team any longer after he had a 0 and 2 kill/death ratio and it took him 3 days to respawn."

"Adding anyone comment need to no my safari"

"Judge: ""Reason for divorce?"" Me: ""Reconcilable differences."" Judge: ""Don't you mean irreconcilable?"" Me: ""Ugh. You sound just like her."""

"""Changed the name on my iPhone to titanic. Now when I connect to iTunes it says the...... Titanic is synching"""

"Bumped into a friend of mine the other day. He was wearing camouflage."

"Want a couple of pointers in life? 0x8130 and 0x8134"

"Two fish are in a tank... Two fish are in a tank... First one says: I'll drive! Second one says: ""I'll man the guns!"""

"If you don't send the person you're stalking a nude photo of yourself, then you're not taking that relationship serious enough!"