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Joke of the Day
"Twitter... it's for the birds!"
Next Joke
"There was a boy who lived down my street who always got concussions! He lived just a stone throw away."
"how do trains fall in love? it attracks another one."
"A hard thing about a business is minding your own."
"A man was writing a book with over 1,000 pages. It's too long of a story to explain why."
"Before I lose my phone, end up naked, high, drunk and/or possibly arrested, I would like to wish all a Happy Saturday!"
"[Brings date home] O geez did I leave all my rare, holographic Pokemon cards out on my bed again? Guess we'll just have to lay here & battle"
"My mom woke up early every morning to cut the crusts off my sandwiches for lunch at school. She knew the crusts were my favorite part. She hated me so much."
"If Al Gore had a band, it'd be called... The Algorithms. I'm sooooooooooo sorry for this. :("
"Don't pay your taxes. Get sent to a cool ass prison. Boom, now taxes pay you. Life hack."