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Joke of the Day

"I really didn't like how I look after I shaved off my beard... ...but now it is starting to grow on me."

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"How do Jewish mothers prevent wrinkles? Oil of Oy Vey."
"""Why do you always exchange your Canadian dollars to USD? It makes no sense!"" ""Well neither does the Canadian Mint!"""
"That boy is so dirty the only time he washes his ears is when he eats watermelon."
"I'd rather see someone on the street coming towards me with a knife than a clipboard."
"What do gay Russian partners call each other? Cumrade"
"Jesus came to me in a dream and asked me ""do you know how much I love you?"" ""This much"" he said and he spread his arms and died."
"What do Alan Turing and a well-mixed solution have in common? They're both homo-genius."
"Waiter waiter this lobster's only got one claw. It must have been in a fight sir. Then bring me the winner."
"Honestly if I had a brain I'd... probably not admit to being stupid publicly for a start."