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Joke of the Day

"A man walked into a bar... ... and he stayed there my entire fucking childhood."

"You think you're going to win this? I've been acting out potential fake arguments in the shower for years. You don't stand a chance."

"Why don't you see hippos hiding in trees? Because they are really f**king good at it."

"Why does Santa Clause have such a big sack? He only comes once a year."

"In the 1970s it was almost impossible to insult someone electronically. Thank god that nightmare is over."

"What do you call backup milk? *Secondairy*"

"What do you call an agnostic? An athe-ish."

"This watch means a lot to me, I got it from my Jewish Grandfather He sold it to me on his deathbed."

"I think that an XBox is the closest thing to a ""box"" that most gamers have ever seen. Clever branding Microsoft."

"Tried to make jokes on this plane about the other passengers' carryon bags, but they went over their heads"