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Joke of the Day

"They said I'd have to kiss a lot of frogs before finding my prince. I never found him, but I did find out I'm REALLY into frogs."

"Change is hard, especially the nickel."

"Why does the Law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients? To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service! "

"*swivels around in evil chair* *evil laugh* *pets evil cat* *evil cat laughs* *jumps out of evil chair* ""Holy shit, that cat just laughed!"""

"Cashier: Need to see some ID Me: You get a lot of 20yo guys buying tampons, diapers, grapes & whiskey? Cashier: Yup Me: Ok, here you go then"

"me: so did it hurt? her: yes, a lot me: when i splashed that salsa in your eye? her: I SAID YES"

"How was 9/11 an inside job? If the planes came from the outside."

"Ironically, I hate people who say ""like us on Facebook""."

"There seems to be a direct correlation between how many rosaries you have hanging on your rearview and how shitty a driver you are."

"Nothing freaks me out like when I'm ordering from a Chinese restaurant and I ask ""What kind of meat is that?"" and they answer ""yes"""