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Joke of the Day

"There is a new Barbie doll on the market - Siamese Twins Barbie ...complete with surgical instruments"

"*shipwrecked diary* Day 1: alone, doing well. Mentally sound. Met a crab Day 2: I have married the crab. Day 3: I have eaten my wife."

"What's black and dosent work? Half of London"

"I've probably spent a solid year of my life just staring into the refrigerator"

"A group of crows killed an innocent person It really was a murder scene"

"There once was a man named Dave... who found a dead whore in a cave. She was ugly as shit, and missing one tit, but think of the money he'd save."

"Why are cars in Russia so slow? Because they are always stalin."

"MUST HAVE BEFORE WATCHING THE CONJURING : - Bible - iBible iPhone app - Holy Water - Priest - Jesus - 5 Jesus necklaces - Holy Spirt"

"My lesbian friend gave a me a Rolex for my birthday. I don't think she understood when I said: ""I wanna watch."""

"So many women, so little time to disappoint them all."