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Joke of the Day

"I want to leave this world the way I entered it ... With a woman desperately trying to get me out of her vagina."

"A dad walks into a room seeing his daughter masterbating with a cucumber. He said: ""I was gonna eat that, now it taste like cucumber"""

"How do you stop a dog from humping your leg? Suck its dick"

"Obama and Bush walk into a bar... ...Clinton ducked."

"I don't mean to brag but my stalker has OCD so he trims my bushes while he's hiding in them waiting for me to get home."

"""Sookie!"" -70% of True Blood dialogue"

"Alternate Title for Interstellar [Spoiler] Ghost Dad"

"Dick van Dyke's surgery Welcome to Dick van Dyke's surgery! I'm afraid it's bad news. You've got supercalifragilisticextreme-halitosis."

"How much does the Holocaust?"

"A: We are moving to nicer street B: So are we going to more peaceful one A: Really? You are moving too? B: No, we are staying"