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Joke of the Day

"An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman decided to have a BBQ. The Englishmen brought some meat, the Irishman brought some whiskey and the Scotsman brought some dude from Aberdeen."

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"What do call a potato that knows martial arts? Jacket Chan"
"The past, present, and future walked into a bar. It was tense."
"For a gentleman, Shakespeare really knew how to spread those thy's."
"""Hey mom, why does it smell like dead people in here...?"" ""....mom? Mom? ...... Mooooooooooommmmm!!!!!"""
"What do you call a fear of horned bovines? Aurochnophobia."
"STRANGER: she has a book. cute and smart ME: [taking a bite of the small layer cake i made to look like a book] STRANGER: a stunning genius"
"Why don't blind people skydive more often? It scares the shit outta their dog! - - - - **Now how do the blind people know they're about to hit the ground ?** The leash gets slack."
"""Do you wanna build a snowman?"" ""Sir, this is a Build a Bear shop."" *Pulls out carrot ""Oh, you brought a carrot. Sure, whatever."""
"Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked Bruce Campbell in the chin. He broke every bone in that leg."