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Joke of the Day

"Tyson's psychologist told Mike to take a year off he obviously misunderstood....good thing he didn't say two!"

"A duck walks into a drug store. He says ""Give me some chap stick."" The cashier asks ""Will that be cash or credit?"" The duck says ""Just put it on my bill."""

"I find it ironic that the colors red, white and blue stand for freedom until they are flashing behind you"

"In honour of all the miss piggy/kermit the frog jokes going around today. Why can't miss piggy have children? Because she keeps fucking a frog and their DNA is not compatible. No?"

"If by ""physically fit"" you mean that I am going to physically fit this entire cupcake into my mouth then yes."

"What do vegan zombies eat? ~Graaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnsssssss"

"A nun wakes up late for church.... She runs out after quickly getting dressed, and asks a small boy, ""Is mass out?"" He replies, ""No but your hat's on crooked."""

"I can see my Uber driver's car is almost out of gas and it's really stressing me out."

"What's the sharpest thing in the world? A fart. It goes through your pants without even making a hole."

"What does Hulk say when he poops? IBM!"