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Joke of the Day
"What do you call an alligator detective wearing a waistcoat? An investigator."
Next Joke
"NPR recently started a heavy metal band. 'All Things Dismembered'"
"Gandalf was an alien. It's right there in his name: Gandalf the GREY. Wake up, sheeple!"
"My girlfriend thought the fossball table in our living room was too fratty. So I filled it up with water and turned it into a synchronized swimming simulator."
"Pac-Man is a good metaphor for life because the goal is to eat all the pellets in a level. There is also fruit & ghosts, just like in life"
"People who take things literally on twitter, stop. Wait. First take this tweet literally, then stop."
"*races to airport *hurdles though security *sees her at boarding gate *shouts her name *romantic music swells I RAN OVER YOUR CAT"
"I was going to write a joke about Kim kardashian's orifices, but they've all been done."
"Life tip: if someone comes out of a bathroom sweating, do not go in that bathroom."
"2016: The year Brock Turner got sentenced to 3 months but America got 4 years."