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Joke of the Day

"When a friend is about to hand me her baby, I deliberately drop my phone while yelling ""DAMN SO CLUMSY!"" and wait as she changes her mind."

"Imagine coming back to life as a zombie but someone tied your shoes together before you were buried."

"Why don't blind people skydive? It scares the shit out of the dog."

"What's the difference between hungry and horny? (NSFW) Where you put the cucumber."

"Scientology, because even Jehovah Witnesses need something to laugh at after a hard day of knocking on doors."

"What's the difference between a chickpea and a garbanzo bean? ...I've never had a garbanzo bean on my face"

"What do you call a transformer in a canoe? A row bot"

"I recently saw The VVitch and it was a very eye opening experience I had no idea Hilary Clinton had such a rough childhood."

"I am not an alcoholic An alcoholic needs a drink, I have a drink."

"The Runaway Horse by Gay Topen"