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Joke of the Day
"Q: What did the green grape say to the purple grape? A: Breathe, idiot! BREATHE!"
Next Joke
"I ran 3 miles this morning, so if I did my math correctly, I can eat 3 pounds of cake today."
"What do you get if you put 5 lesbians and 5 politicians in the same room? 10 people who don't do dick."
"How did the rice crispy propose to the cornflake? It Snapped, Crackled and Popped the question."
"Judge: I find him... not guilty *Tom Brady breathes a sigh of relief* Cop: *cuffing him* So that's where the air was, huh? We finally gotcha"
"My neighbour knocked on my door this morning at 2:30 am. 2:30! Luckily I was still up playing my drums."
"My wife told me I should go to the gym with her to get in shape, but I suggested I just start with skipping. So far I've skipped the gym three times this week and I feel great."
"(Male-related)When I have a double stream, is there something obstructing the penis? or is it just being a dick?"
"Why does America spell colour without the u? because fuck u"
"It's too bad u can't safely fill babies with helium. How cute would that be to look up and see hundreds of floating, chubby, happy, babies."