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Joke of the Day

"Library charged my Visa $15.60 for my son's lost Dr. Seuss book. Teri got mad oh yes she did, Teri got angry and grounded her kid."

"How many feminists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? DO IT YOURSELF YOU FILTHY MAN!"

"Son:Mom! What's a GF? Mom:if you are a good boy,you will get one when you're older. Son:What if i'm not a good boy? Mom:You'll get many."

"[begin metajoke] What did the drunk Chinese customer say to the bartender? No have to cut me off. Fall off barstool by myself. [end metajoke]"

"It was karaoke night. My friend chose to sing, ""We Are Young"". He sung it horribly. So I told him, ""You're no fun."" I'll show myself out."

"""Hey idiots - I don't have spikes"" - The sun, to child artists"

"How many cops does it take to change a light bulb? (None, they just beat the room for being black)"

"It's so beautiful outside. I should probably do something...Like close the blinds so there isn't a glare on my computer screen."

"I like to end all my phone calls with ""Ok, I'll see you later on at the party!"" and then quickly hang up. Let them figure it out."

"*Clark Kent takes his glasses off* Jimmy: ""OMG, it's Superman!"" *Clark puts his glasses back on* ""OMG, Clark! You just missed Superman!"""