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Joke of the Day

"Read on r/todayilearned that Saint Ambrose was the first person to practice silent reading... ...which is crazy, because typically, Catholics never shut up about their favorite book."

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"Yo mama so fat... She auditioned for Gargantua in the movie Interstellar but got rejected for being too fat"
"Policing the internet. Complaining to the police about something you've read on the internet is like suing a premium rate sex line for sexual harassment."
"Patient just told me a joke yesterday When you are driving though the field in Texas, you see a lot of cattle. They are very special. Wanna know why? They are out standing in the field"
"Son: Mom, dad, I'm gay. Mom: *gasp* Dad: *clenches fists* Mom: Honey, stop! Dad: *steps forward* Mom: N- Dad: HI GAY, I'M DAD."
"So from now on I believe in talking bears until someone can logically explain how that Ted scene just happened on the #oscars"
"What's the best thing about Bruce Jenner? [removed]"
"What would you name a star wars movie featuring Pluto? This is really just a bad pun, but to me those are the best kind of jokes Pluto strikes from the back and destroys Uranus."
"What is the most romantic city in England? Loverpool!"
"I'm so broke right now, if my gf leaves me for a richer person I'm going with them -__-"