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Joke of the Day

"How does a black woman know she's pregnant? When she pulls out her tampon the cotton's been picked."

"Do hamburgers make good vampires? No because they always find themselves in ghoulash situations!"

"use this coupon for the pizza its expired whats the worst that could happen [calls wife 10min later] hello Im in something called pizza jail"

"I'm going back to my surgeon to get my dressing changed tomorrow. Or, to put it another way... I'm seeking redress from the man who cut me."

"What do gay cows eat? Haaaaayyyy(gay voice)"

"What the beat part about having sex with twenty-one year olds? There's twenty of them!"

"Nothing stops me in my tracks faster than a five year old saying, ""I got you a present!"""

"4-year-old: Are hot dogs made from real dogs? Me: Would you eat them if they were? 4: No! Me: 4: Unless I had ketchup."

"*spits out coffee* VERB IS A NOUN"

"You know it's cold outside when... You buy a foot long at Subway and by the time you get it to you car it's a six inch"