115127
Joke of the Day
"I like my coffee the way I make the women in my life... Dark and bitter."
Next Joke
"What do you call a Jewish rock band? I want my nickelback"
"Always leave a bad date by politely spilling your drink on the floor, and telling him your water broke."
"When ya leave Twitter it's called twittercide. What about Instagram? Instagramicide? IGicide? Instacide? Gramicide? Instadead? Instagone?"
"Every once in a while someone comes along, and if you are really still they'll eventually go away."
"Fool me once, shame on you. Fool Chuck Norris once and he will roundhouse you in the face."
"*leaves one cupcake in work kitchen* *watches live version of Hunger Games*"
"If at first you don't succeed, then maybe you should do it the way I told you to the first time."
"What happens when you cross a snowman and a vampire? You get a frostbite."
"What did the field say to the farmer with no crops? Stop fallowing me!"