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Joke of the Day

"""What's the difference between a pickpocket and peeping tom? A pickpocket snatches watches."" - Redd Foxx, 1956"

"The latest research shows that... Research is pointless."

"What does a hawk call a high ledge A *falcony!*"

"Now I know why they call it Whole Foods. It took a whole hour to spend my whole paycheck and they can kiss my whole ass."

"Ever been so tired at work that people thought you were drunk? I hope so because that's the only excuse I have for being drunk at work."

"How does a physicist exercise? By pumping ion!"

"I'm in a band called 1023 megabytes... We haven't had a gig yet"

"I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised."

"The only thing left for CNN to do is drop Wolf Blitzer in the Indian Ocean and see how long it takes to find him."

"Whenever i am lonely or depressed my piano makes me feel better... Its an appreciating asset."