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Joke of the Day

"How many feminists does it take to screw a vegan? Lightbulb."

"What do you call a ghost on the Internet? e-erie."

"A black guy walks into a bar, with a parrot on his shoulder The bartender looks at him and says, ""That thing is really cool! Where did you get it?"" The parrot replies, ""Detroit"""

"[superhero meeting] ""What's your enemy called?"" ""Dr Doom. Yours?"" ""Joker"" [stifles laughter] ""I HAVE OTHERS"" ""Ye-"" ""Penguin"" [just loses it]"

"Please don't type Part A backwards It's a trap!"

"I've just returned from outer space. I took a book to read while I was up there. I couldn't put it down."

"Squad goals: To have a squad"

"Her: ""Add insult to injury why don't you"" Me: ""Your broken leg looks fat in that cast"""

"I like making silly faces in group photos because it's better to look ugly on purpose"

"I wrote 2793 tweets in advance. So if I die tomorrow, you won't know until 2018."