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Joke of the Day

"What do you call bug mating? INSEX"

"Why did Dairy Queen get pregnant? Burger King didn't cover his whopper."

"My purse is deeper than some people."

"Are you guys gonna enjoy your weekend I'm not I'll probably obsess over the problems I create in my mind then maybe eat something I regret"

"""At least Donald Trump says what he thinks."" Ah yes if only all racists would shout about it constantly the world would be a better place."

"AROMATHERAPY CONUNDRUM: Spilling a large bucket of Lavender oil all over your carpet: Very stressful, or very relaxing? #retweet #grief"

"My son ran away again, but it gets worse. He changed the wifi password before he left."

"What's the difference between heroin and foot long dicks? Your mom isn't addicted to heroin."

"Fun prank: Just leave random ""I'm sorry I hit your car"" notes on people's cars and watch them look for a non existent dent."

"The only difference between fear and adventure is how much you breathe."