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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a Taliban outpost and a Pakistani Elementary school? I don't know, I just fly the drone."

"hey, a mime! *mime starts having heart attack* hes pretending to die lol *mime collapses* *hours later still watching his body* wow hes good"

"My wife told me I should go to the gym with her to get in shape, but I suggested I just start with skipping. So far I've skipped the gym three times this week and I feel great."

"Why do women rub their eyes when they wake up? Q: Why do women rub their eyes when they wake up? A: 'cuz they ain't got balls to scratch!"

"If you think your child is annoying, imagine what I think."

"How do you make four gay people happy? You flip over a stool."

"My friend wrote a philosophical paper about his girlfriends vagina. It was pretty deep"

"What's the difference between a dirty bus stop and a voluptuous lobster? One's a crusty bus station and the other's a busty crustacean. :D edit: funnier when said aloud"

"*Snoop walks into a classroom* Snoop: Tell me about the Big Bong Theory Teacher: It's the Big Bang Theory *Snoops walks out disappointed*"

"Why are redneck murder cases the hardest to solve? Because all the DNA matches and there are no dental records."