114178

Joke of the Day

"It's especially on Fridays at 5 pm when I wish I could slide down the back of a brontosaurus directly into my car."

"Exaggerations went up by a million percent last year."

"If you add a long hashtag to a tweet or Instagram pic, capitalize the first letter of each word. No one wants to work that hard at reading."

"Why don't bananas snore? Because they don't want to wake up the rest of the bunch."

"You're not fat. You're just... easier to see!"

"what's the best part about eating out your... nsfw ....grandma? you can suck her tits at the same time!"

"What did the thief say when he saw the man leave his coat behind? let's jack it."

"What do you get if you cross an alien and a hot drink ? Gravi-tea !"

"The best thing about owning a Smart Car is when it gets dirty, you can just put it in the dishwasher."

"Why is B so cool? Because it is next to the AC"