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Joke of the Day

"How do you know when your wife is having an orgasm? when you come home from work and see my car in your driveway....."

"What sound does and alcohlic train make? Chug chug chug chug chug chug... I'll show myself out."

"Why should you attend someone's funeral although you know they won't be attend yours back? Because they will be at your funeral in spirit"

"As soon as they heard the flush, my phone interview took a drastic turn."

"I dated a lesbian who thought she might be bi, but I was afraid to make the first move. Felt like a pussy the first time she kissed me."

"At 23:59 31.12.2015 I raised my left foot off the ground Just to be sure I start 2016 on the right foot"

"That awkward moment when your phone auto-corrects ""I wanna do it"" to ""I wanna donut"" because it knows you're fat."

"We'd like to sincerely apologize for booking the Karate Convention on the same day as the Rare Wooden Boards Fair"

"What do you call having anal sex with a dick piercing? NSFW Prince Albert in a can"

"What's black, white, and red all over? A dying nun."