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Joke of the Day

"I tried to catch fog yesterday, Mist."

"If I was a villain, my weapon would be a fan and a bag of eyelashes for blinding superheroes I'm a villain, don't ask how I get my weapons"

"Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired"

"HADES: Unleash the hell hound! CERBERUS: *sipping tea* I told you to ask first if it's a good time for us. HADES: Is it a-- CERBERUS: No."

"Been watching Sharknado. When did Tara Reid turn 60??"

"A friend of mine is allergic to both peanut butter and bees, which he discovered when he bit into the worst sandwich ever."

"I don't know why, but books about medicine are hilarious. The section about urinary tract infections made me pee my pants."

"Well, today i had a brainfuck Guess i'm not a surgeon anymore"

"How did Frankenstein's monster eat his lunch? He bolted it down."

"""FOUR MORE YEARS!!! FOUR MORE YEARS!!!..."" - Honey Boo Boo's teachers her senior year of high school"