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Joke of the Day

"Science tells us there are far fewer female autists than male... But thanks to the pay gap, there are far more female starving autists."

"Dad joke Dad: [Grabs chest] Quick! call me an ambulance! Son: You're... an ambulance. Dad: I'm-I'm so proud of you, son. [Dies]"

"Why did Microsoft skip from Windows 8 to Windows 10? They revived to much XP "

"I'm so high, I just tried to Google ""My favorite songs""."

"I tried to upload the superbowl to... Pornhub, but they dont accept rape."

"Why did the sushi cross the road? Sushi could get to the other side."

"Tom Cruise does all of his own stunts because death is the only way out of the Church of Scientology."

"My dog has no legs. I call him Cigarette. Every night I come home from work, I take him for a drag."

"If twitter isn't a drug then someone please explain to me why I sneak into the bathroom at work to use it."

"I asked my flamboyant son if he was gay and he beat around the bush. I wouldn't care if he is, I'm just pissed that I didn't get a straight answer."