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Joke of the Day

"*puts on headphones *cranks ""Eye of the Tiger"" *downs energy drink *laces up Nikes *runs out into 13 weather *runs back inside *Naps"

"In baseball, why does it take longer to get from second to third than any other bases? Because there's a short stop in between."

"Wanna hear a joke? Psych"

"The first rule of dad club is shut the goddamn door on your way in, we're not trying to heat the whole outdoors here."

"Lawyer: As My Lord knows,... Judge: Don't presume I know it, counsel. Lawyer: Beg pardon. *clears throat* As My Lord ought to know..."

"What do Jewish pedophiles say to kids? Hey, wanna buy some candy?"

"What the the planet Jupiter say to Neptune? I can see Uranus from here."

"What did the buffalo say when his kid left for college? Bison"

"How do weathermen get up a mountain? They climate."

"Why did the Irish man never get caught drink driving? Because he never left the pub."