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Joke of the Day

"You aren't going to believe who the most amazing person is. Just read the first two words!"

"CORDUROY PILLOWS Making headlines"

"The only difference between the 13yr old me and the 28yr old me is that my kool-aid now contains vodka."

"Why do Jews have blue penises? Because they're tight-fisted wankers."

"What did Clinton tell the FBI? ""I did not have classified relations with that server!"""

"People get easily offended these days. You can't even say black paint Instead you have to yell ""Jamall, paint my fence"""

"If someone is choking the best thing to do is ask them if they're okay repeatedly then if that fails give a concerned look until resolved."

"I can't believe how much I cried after that recent episode of the Game of Thrones! ""*There will be no walk of atonement.""* Sigh."

"I got a new job! I got a great new job working for The Mint. I'm gonna make so much money! Also steal a bunch."

"Where's the best place to hide after a murder? Behind a badge"