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Joke of the Day

"Women only call me ugly until they find out how much money I make. Then they call me ugly and poor."

"It's important to set goals. You don't have to accomplish them or anything like that. Just set them."

"What is Donald Trump's least favorite Candy? Jelly Beaners"

"Where did the Muslim go for his sandwich? Aaaaaaaaallah Snackbar."

"My girlfriend's new tattoo My girlfriend has a tattoo of seashell on the inside of her leg. When you put your ear on it, you can smell the sea!"

"Have you heard about Marx's tomb? They say it's a Communist plot"

"Why were all the gays winning poker in the 40's? Because they had to keep a straight face"

"What is Hillary Clinton's favorite type of shoes? Scandals"

"[using ouija board] R2...L2....L1....R2...LEFT...DOWN... ""what the hell?"" [everyone is suddenly carrying like 8 different guns]"

"My family puts the ""C"" in Awckward because the majority of them didn't graduate high school and are horrible spellers."