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Joke of the Day

"$599... ... plus tax and shipping. *Let's see who gets that joke.*"

"What did the Egyptian Pharaoh do when he got caught in traffic? ANKH ANKH!!"

"DOCTOR: Im sorry, I can't see you right now ME: [wearing my new camouflage suit] lol that is so awesome"

"How do you measure how funny an electrical engineer is? You use an o-silly-scope!"

"I pretend I'm on the phone when entering a barbershop & say ""I stabbed him only cause I hate small talk "" so he doesn't try to talk to me."

"Heisenberg is driving down the highway and gets pulled over by a cop... Cops says, ""Do you have any idea how fast you were going."" Heisenberg says, ""No, but I know exactly where I am."""

"My brother can dish it out, but he can't take it. He since lost his job as a waiter."

"Why do Germans make such good cars? To try and make up for the Holocaust."

"God's plan to use wasps to pollinate didn't work out. So he had to resort to Plan Bee."

"So I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced it with but I've been tripping all day."