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Joke of the Day

"How do you break up an Al-Quaeda bingo game? Yell ""B-52!"""

"My girlfriend laughed at me for having an existential crisis at 17. Jokes on her. She doesn't even exist!"

"What did the dwarf pimp say to the two prostitutes at the beginning of the night? Hi ho, hi ho, it's off to work we go"

"What is the difference between dragons and dinosaurs? Dinosaurs aren't old enough to smoke. Told to me by my niece at christmas."

"I respect the Secret Service They are the only law enforcement agency in the country that gets in trouble if a black man gets shot."

"Why did the console peasant cross the road? To render the building on the other side"

"What rhymes with Autoerotic Asphyxiation? Writing an obituary is hard."

"Why did Moses spend 40 years romeing in the desert he dropped a quarter"

"Why is your nose in the middle of your face? Because it's the scenter."

"Kids today will never know what it's like to have a 3rd grade teacher who teaches every subject and even serves as dentist on fluoride day."