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Joke of the Day
"Nice try Halloween, I eat candy in the dark and pretend not to be home every night."
Next Joke
"If you tell me having a dog is the same as having a kid then I'm going to assume you yell at your dog to keep his pants on at Wal-Mart."
"Prince: the artist formerly known as. . . . alive."
"What did the left bum check say to the right bum check? He said ""If we stick together, we can stop this shit."""
"The Simpsons will never run out of money. Homer's always bringing home the D'oh!"
"Are you into fitness? How about fitness' cock in your mouth"
"Dilemma: Your daughter brings home a guy with an Insane Clown Posse t-shirt on but your garden is already completely full of corpses."
"That'll do, fellas. I think we're good on breathy singer-songwriters who sound like they're creepily whispering rapey stuff in our ears."
"Why did the zombie cross the road? To get his guts back. My three year old made that one up, I though it was pretty good :)"
"What do you call a chicken haunting your house? A Poultrygeist!"