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Joke of the Day

"A man walks into a zoo. The only animal in the entire zoo is a dog. It's a Shih Tzu."

"Why did the door to door sales man get nervous and run away? He was selling In-Security Heh yeah i dunno i thought it up in a dream and I'm still half asleep bye"

"How do you get two priest to fight to the death? Throw a small boy between them. How do you kill the other you ask? Throw in Michael Jackson."

"Did you know the weather is just like a Muslim? It's either Sunni or it's Shiite."

"I sincerely hope Trump does become President Because at least Australian Politics won't be the butt of every joke anymore. Sincerely, still a rather embarrassed Australian citizen."

"Q: What is a Budget? A: An orderly system for living beyond your means."

"Senator John Tester from Montana and his executive assistant both have only seven fingers. That is so hot!"

"Abortions are so fun It really brings out the kid in you"

"How's this for a magic trick: I sign into Twitter and my desire to do anything productive just disappears."

"An officer pulls over a speeding blonde and asks her for her license. She angrily exclaims ""Yesterday you took away my license and now you want to see it again?"""